How do I arrange child contact during school holidays with my ex-partner?

School holidays can be a stressful time for separated couples with children as they try to navigate childcare, work commitments and travel with their former partners. It’s usually in the best interests of the child that arrangements are made amicably, and all parties agree. Everyone’s situation is slightly different and contact arrangements will vary from family to family. It’s important that you know what your parental rights and responsibilities are according to the law, and to remember that mediation and negotiation can be good avenues to take wherever possible, rather than reverting to court action.

McSherry Halliday has put together some helpful hints and tips to help make setting up school holiday contact arrangements as easy as possible.

Be open and honest

Discuss holiday arrangements with the other parent as early as possible and be open and honest about your wishes, intended dates and locations. This way any potential clashes can be dealt with and resolved early before you make any bookings. Make sure and keep a record of any agreements you both make, such as emails and text messages.

Be clear and be prepared to compromise

Both of you might have good reasons for choosing to take the children away on certain dates, such as work commitments, religious festivals, and family traditions, so keep that in mind when you are negotiating holidays with your former partner. It is beneficial for everyone that both parents are clear about what they want to organise but are also prepared to compromise. Your children are much more likely to enjoy their time with each parent if they are reassured that everyone is happy with the arrangements. If you wanted a more concrete arrangement in place, you could consider getting legal help in drafting an agreement, as often having a formal structure means everyone knows where they stand, so this can benefit all parties.

Do not book until you have come to an agreement

It’s sensible not to book a holiday, hotel or flights until you have agreement from the other parent or have received a court order. Otherwise, trips could clash, and objections could be raised, leading to cancellation and monetary loss. Do not get your children excited about a holiday either until it is set in stone, so they are not let down and disappointed if things do not go according to plan.

Provide important information

Both parents should provide their former partner with important details about the holiday. At the very least the dates, location, flight information, accommodation and a contact number should be given to provide the other person assurance and peace of mind.

Agree on a plan for contact

It is likely both your child and former partner will want to keep in touch during the holiday, so it’s important to put a contact plan in place. You should agree how the parent and child will communicate – whether that’s by phone, FaceTime, WhatsApp, email etc – and how often they will be in touch with one another.

Letting the other parent know they have arrived safely and setting up a reasonable schedule for communication can set everyone’s mind at rest and provide good structure for the child’s time.

If you cannot work things out

Unfortunately, it’s not always possible to come to an agreement over holiday plans, especially if there has been an acrimonious separation with a former partner. Your ex-partner may refuse to give permission for the child to leave the country, for example. In these cases, we can assist you in negotiating holiday contact or as a last resort, you can apply for a court order, although it is best to try negotiation or mediation avenues and seek legal advice on the best course of action first.

Hopefully in the long term, you and your ex-partner will be able to establish a holiday routine that benefits everyone, especially your children.